The Best Marriage Advice I Was Given

When I was taking pre-marital counseling with my soon-to-be-husband, we did the "Love and Respect" series with my parents. We would watch a session and discuss. One comment in particular struck me: let your husband dream.

Probably this isn't all that crazy to some people. Probably it partly depends upon your marriage, but my husband is definitely a dreamer. He will come to me on a regular basis with a new scheme for how to expand his business, make a bigger impact with his work, etc. And every time he does, I listen, try not to say much, and just accept his dream for what it is.

Why?

Cleaving and Becoming An Adult

There is an awkward stage that every young adult goes through where he goes from being a child to being an adult. It's awkward for both the parents and the child, because there is a combination of still wanting to parent/be parented and yet wanting to make decisions that will impact the future you wish to have.

I knew from an incredibly young age (around 8) that I wanted to be a wife and mother. I never wanted to be anything else. I planned on getting married the day I turned 18 and popping out babies every year or so while my husband worked and I stayed at home. To me, this described the ideal life. My parents were supportive. They knew how important a wife and mother who stays at home can be, and they believed I was following the natural path for the majority of women.

Why I Prioritize A Clean Home Over Playing with My Kids

Before kids, it was easy to keep house. I had way more time to accomplish everything than I needed, most of the time, and even with chronic health issues, I managed to get dishes done, the bed made, and the living room vacuumed. After my first child came, it got a little harder. When the second came along, it got a little more difficult. Then we embraced minimalism, and although that didn't eliminate the need to clean up, it did make things easy again.

But there were times when I noticed my husband seemed a little less relaxed when he got home. He didn't complain, but I could tell that when he came home and things were messy, it added stress to his life. Coming home wasn't a time to let loose and relax - he felt a need to clean up!

Books that Changed My Life

Anyone who spends any amount of time reading will have read at least one book that really impacted them - perhaps because it was a book that changed their way of thinking or because it touched on something that was important to them. I have been an avid reader since I was incredibly young, and I have gone through stages of reading different types of books. Right now, I read almost exclusively non fiction where I hardly ever read it before college. I go through phases where I'll focus on a particular topic or author and really dive in, immersing myself, and hopefully coming out of that more knowledgeable.

Some books have certainly been more impactful than others. The Boxcar Children books were huge for me, when I was eight or so; now not so much. But back then, I certainly wouldn't have been at all interested in books about climate responsibility or the nature of disease. Some really important books didn't do much for me (like Frankenstein) - probably because they weren't new thoughts - and some insignificant books really shaped my world view because I read them at the right time.

Five Reasons My Home is Always Clean

We live in a life that is incredibly understanding of women who can't get everything done, and I love that, because I certainly don't get it all done; however, I do keep a spic and span home. Various people do this in different ways because people live different lives. Here are some of the ways I keep my home clean:

Being Hosted: Proper Etiquette

We all enjoy being invited over for a meal and conversation, and I see plenty of people talking about the proper ways to host. One thing I don't see often, however, is how a person should act as company. I host at least twice a week, often three times, which means I invite people into my home 104 - 156 days a year. That's a lot! My husband and I enjoy hosting, and we've made huge efforts to hone our hosting abilities and make our home one that is easy for others to be welcomed into.

Because we do so much hosting, there are problems I sometimes run into with company. Nothing so serious it would ruin an evening but things I would guess people aren't aware are bad etiquette for company. Here are some things you can do to ensure people love hosting you.

Buying Groceries for $30 (or Less) a Week

Grocery shopping with my husband, I sped past the aisles of delicious food for the back of the store where I knew the butter would be. Shocker of shocks, my Aldi's butter prices had doubled, and I couldn't afford it that week. I knew that Walmart – less than a block from Aldi – would have cheaper butter. The trick there is getting past the bakery, the spice rack that calls my name, the coffee... everything. I was hungry, and I knew whatever I saw had the potential to tempt me.

Then it happened. I saw the clearance section. I didn't know this existed until that very moment, and I stopped in my tracks. Most of it was overpriced teas that had dropped to reasonable prices, but there were cans of tuna half off, various grains at rock bottom prices, and a precious bag of high end, organic, blonde, coconut sugar for ¼ the usual price. I never ever buy specialty sugar, despite how wonderful it is, and I hemmed and hawed over it for a full two minutes before my husband plopped it into our cart and said it was worth it.

When my husband came to me with concern about our food budget (which was only $60 a week to begin with), I told him I would try to only spend around $30 a week for groceries. This includes whatever staples we need. Frugal grocery shopping is one of the most exciting aspects of my life. I don't say that in exaggeration or to be over-dramatic. It truly thrills me. I love pinching every penny and seeing how delicious I can make each meal. This month, I managed to feed us with around $20 a week. How do we do it? 

Family Cloth: Why You Shouldn't Be Squeamish

By now you probably know how much I enjoy frugality. It shows in my home, my eating style, my wardrobe, and now it's showing in my bathroom.

Family cloth. Do you know what it is? In case you don't: family cloth is what you use instead of toilet paper. It it reusable, washable cloth. I made ours out of the flannel receiving blankets we had used for our little one's home birth. I cut them into squares and sewed them - 192, in all. They look pretty and feel absolutely luxurious.

Embracing Minimalism

Minimalism has always appealed to me - perhaps because I always felt overwhelmed by the need to pick up so many things I owned which I wasn't really fond of. Toys, books, clothes, makeup, and the list goes on. When I married, my husband and I lived in a tiny apartment which we managed to barely fit ourselves into, and part of that was deciding what our essentials were, though we weren't living with the minimum.

About two years ago, I threw away or sold the majority of my clothes and started using a capsule wardrobe (just before I became pregnant, which was terrible timing, as most of what I wore was tailored). It has only been in the past month I've been able to finalize it so that almost every piece is high quality, can be worn year-round, is maternity-friendly, and can be worn while nursing a baby (I am still nursing and hope to have another baby soon).

Being A Musician's Wife

I am the wife of a musician. Not only that, I am the wife of the self-employed, business owning, independent contractor. He teaches piano lessons. It's a huge undertaking, and he spends every minute of the day he can making it better and continuing to educate himself. It is a thankless job, because a lot of people have incorrect assumptions about it. Here are a few of them.